Getting Out There
You may remember a little conversation we had about this self-promotion for wimps class I was taking. I took on the challenge to take off the big giant Queen Elizabethesque “I’m a professional” hat and be myself.
I think that sharing conversations with my FPS and the itchiness of one’s feet (even if it is figurative) count toward this goal. And now I’m getting ready to do something even bigger: Put together some products so that more of you can experience me and my coaching.
And, I’m doing it with help. The same fine ladies that taught the Self Promo class are doing other awesome things, all just to help me. Okay, maybe it’s not really all about me. But anyway.
First, the Dance of Shiva stuff that Havi has is amazing. It’s true, the “hot-buttered insights” are delicious! And I’m having all these fab product ideas that will translate into cool stuff for you.
Secondly, Online Business School from Naomi of Ittybiz fame. This home study course is helping me figure out how to really bring you more good stuff.
The combination of insights and know-how are helping me create new ways for us to hang out besides this blog and in one-on-one coaching sessions. so more of you can clear out the gunk and get to the good stuff.
Having Fun Making Mistakes
I never in a million years thought I’d write that, much less experience it. See, I’ve spent my life being very careful about what I tried to do, because I always wanted to make sure I would get it right and be good at it.
I didn’t want to try something and be bad at. Sheesh, that would be crazy. Who wants to fail? Who wants to be mediocre? Who wants to be…bad?!
So, as you might have guessed, I didn’t try a lot of things. I passed on opportunities; let little glimmers of interest die a quick and nearly painless death. (To resurrect later as regrets.)
The things I did do, were the things I was naturally good at, or had an early success with. I didn’t experiment. I didn’t get curious. I didn’t practice those things I did do. (I’m sure that’s incorrect grammar or word choice or something, but deal with it. It sounds funny. Read it over again!)
Now I’m trying something new1 that is so difficult that only two practitioners have mastered the second to the highest level, and even at the simplest, beginning level, I make so many mistakes in 10 minutes that you can’t even count them. Doing this goes against every way I’ve ever protected myself from the feeling of failure in the past.
The first time I practiced Dance of Shiva I got frustrated, a little angry, annoyed and considered never ever doing it again. (It was brief, but I did consider it.) There was discussion on Twitter about the throwing of shirts at TVs out of frustration. And Sonia Simone coined the phrase “100% possibility of spazzosity.”
The second time I did it, I didn’t even notice the small mistakes and felt surprise when I found myself in so completely the wrong position I can’t imagine how I even got there. Hell, I didn’t even know my arms could move that way.
Today, the third time, I found myself smiling the whole time, and laughing when I got really tangled up. It’s not that I suddenly got the actual physical positions right either. It’s that I just felt so happy to be moving in this way that feels so interesting in my body and my mind. It is actually fun.
As I was writing this, my Former Paranoid Self (FPS), popped in for a chat. Apparently FPS sometimes forgets the definition of Former.
FPS: I don’t think you’re supposed to laugh. You should be taking this more seriously.
Me: But it’s fun. And funny.
FPS: Well, it’s not supposed to be. You’re probably doing it wrong. It’s supposed to be Serious Brain Training. Just look at that guy! (Image of stonefaced Andrey Lappa pops into my head.) That’s how you’re supposed to be.
Me: Yes, he’s very serious-looking, and maybe he’s “laughing here, [pointing to chest] where it counts.”
FPS: I don’t think so. And you know, no one’s going to get that esoteric reference to an old Happy Days episode. They’ll think you’re weird.
Me: So what? I crack myself up, that’s what matters.
{FPS slinks away to dream up future torturous thoughts…}
Then it occurred to me that maybe I was having one of those moments of Bing! Havi talks about. I realized: I. Truly. Don’t. Care. It doesn’t matter to me (at least for this moment and long enough to post this) if someone else thinks I’m getting this right or not. I’m doing it, I’m experiencing these cool insights, and most importantly for me, maybe not for you, but for me, I’m NOT taking it seriously – I’m laughing and having fun.
1 The new thing is Shiva Nata or Dance of Shiva. As Havi describes it: “It’s weird yoga brain training that sets you up for crazy life-changingly cool insights. Awesome.” And, I’ll just add this amazingness happens in less than 15 minutes a day. Seriously. Check it out.
When Mr. Sketch pens are better than computers
This past weekend, I spent some time laying out my goals and dreams and wishes for the future. I’d been wanting to do it for awhile, but every time I sat down with paper and pen, or computer, it overwhelmed me. I just couldn’t think straight.
Yet, I felt the pull to go through this exercise. It remained in the back of my mind, feeling a little icky, like “you better do this!” Which, as you might imagine, was not helpful at all.
Then I had an epiphany, not so surprisingly after I started a new practice, called Dance of Shiva. Back to my epiphany, it occurred to me I didn’t have to do my future exploration in a linear way! It seems so simple, and felt like a huge breakthrough for me.
So out came the poster board, the Mr. Sketch scented pens and bunches of different sized post-it notes. I started madly writing on a post-it every task, project, dream, wish that had been floating about in my mind and sticking it on the poster board.
When I felt like I had written it all down, I started to look at the post-its for patterns. I noticed pretty quickly that all my stuff naturally divided into four different groups: Current Projects/Tasks, Future Projects/Tasks, Goals and Desired Routines.
I moved the post-its around into these groupings and choose colors for each, decorating the portion of the board accordingly. This is tacked to the wall across from my desk. And my current projects went into my planner, with related tasks broken out. Each month or so, I pick one of the items from Desired Routines to incorporate into my daily life.
Since doing this, I feel more organized and like I’m spending my time effectively. Which is way different than efficiently, but that’s another story for another time.
When your feet get itchy
I’ve been sitting in front of my computer thinking, I should write, I should write, I have written in a flabillion years, and it’s about time. But I’m all electric with energy. I’m jittery. I’m antsy.
Part of it is I’m sure to do with it being election day. Hope is in the air, and I just love what Jen Louden had to say about it. Part of it is that I’ve been pretty housebound for the last month due to the breaking of my toe. And part of it, is that I can just see a sliver of blue sky out my office window. I was expecting weather more typical, i.e. overcast skies and drizzles.
But most of all, I think that sometimes I need movement and fresh air to clear my brain and allow space for writing that’s not forced.
I’m headed out now, I’ll let you know what I find out.
