Hello Self, So This Is How You Work

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When Unplugged Feels Disconnected

July 19th, 2010

I've been practicing unplugging on the weekends. When you run a business, it can be hard to take time away from it, to stop working (or feeling like you should be working) for a minute and do something else. So I've been consciously choosing not to work, or to work in small, defined chunks, if I have to, to meet a deadline.

Unplugging for me, isn't so much about staying off the computer and staying offline, it's more of a mindset. A choice to not think about work ~~obsessively~~ very much for the weekend.

Getting out from behind the desk

Mostly it's been great. I gone on some great bike rides (made it to the top of Mt. Scott on Saturday), walked/hiked/ran around Portland and the Gorge, laughed with friends, spent time sitting on the porch reading and watching the hummingbirds feed.

It's Monday, do you know where your business is?

But strangely, come Monday morning, while I feel energized, I also feel disconnected, like I have to start all over figuring out where I am work-wise. It'll sometimes take a half day or more to get back into the swing of things, like I've forgotten everything I knew when I got up from my desk on Friday.

This is different than the Monday morning blahs I remember from my days of having a job-job. Even when I liked my job, which I mostly did, well except for that one with the video dating service, it bummed me out to have to spend another week working for someone else. It's been nearly 12 years, but that feeling was different than what I'm experiencing now.

Easing transitions

I'm wondering if a system, or rather a more refined system, could help with these transition times. Something that reminds me exactly where I am, and sets me up ready to dive into work on Monday morning. Or perhaps, I'm not paying close enough attention to my natural rhythms, and for me, fully unplugging for two days in a row is too long?

What about you? Do you unplug or wish you did? How do you ease the transitions? I'd love to hear how you do it, or if you struggle too. Hmmm, I bet my friend Cairene over at Third Hand Works has something to say about this.

Posted in Hello Self, So This Is How You Work | 5 Comments »

Riding a Bike: It's not just a metaphor

July 8th, 2010

"Most people think the will to survive is the strongest instinct in human beings, but it isn't. The strongest instinct is to keep things familiar."
Virginia Satir

Such a beauty, it made the cover!

I took my mountain bike out for a spin recently. It had been a *cough, cough* while. The bike was a little out of tune, and so was I.

For the last year or so, I've only been riding my road bike, a sleek lightweight beauty. With it's skinny tires, it's designed for straight flat roads.

On the other hand, my mountain bike is just plain burly. It weighs twice as much, has fat knobby tires and front and rear shocks. It's designed to cushion the ride and grip the trail. Getting back on the mountain bike was a bit of a shock. It's a very different feel.

A different kind of beauty.

I had to reacquaint myself with the shifters, the disc brakes, a different hand and body position.

It just felt weird. And uncomfortable. Part of me wanted to hang it back up and get down my road bike. But, I hung in there, which gave me the opportunity to remember when I first got my road bike.

There's always a first time

Somehow I'd forgotten about how much I hated it at first.

Well, that's not exactly true. I loved the bike, I was just freaked out riding it. It felt insubstantial. It had skinny little tires, weighed hardly anything, you had to lean over so far! And yikes, could it go fast!

Ha. I realized I've been here before, just on the other side. It was all about what I'd gotten used to, not the good or bad I'd made it out to be.

Posted in Hello Self, So This Is How You Work | 1 Comment »

Ten Things I Want for You (and for me)

June 2nd, 2010

1. For you to recognize your voice.

2. To hear it more clearly than anything (or anyone) else.

3. To understand that the things you do that seem like self-sabotage actually contain kernels of self-preservation.

4. Recognition that fear is normal, in that everyone has it (you are not a weirdo freak).

5. Fear is not necessary for motivation and doesn't really work all that well in the long run.

6. That it is possible to live with substantially less fear than you have right now.

7. To move your body every single day. If you can do it outside, especially in nature, even better.

8. It's possible to enjoy a quiet mind, even for just seconds at a time.

9. It's not about never getting stuck again (or messing up or insert bad habit here) it's about how you treat yourself when you inevitably do.

10. A deep breath is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself.

Bonus – Change is not only possible, it can be easy. Angst is not a prerequisite.

Posted in Hello Self, So This Is How You Work | 2 Comments »

The Great Quiet Experiment

March 17th, 2010

It's my birthday today, and I usually buy myself a little something. Something that feels like a splurge, something I've been craving, something that I can't hardly believe that I get to have. My gift to myself this year is all of those things, except that you can't buy it. I'm giving myself the gift of Getting Quiet.

Really, it's a the gift of an Experiment with Getting Quiet, because I also want to give myself the gift of not turning this into another thing on my long to do(n't) list.

A gift of the present

I've had this feeling of wanting to meditate pushing at my edges for years. At least ten years, as I'm thinking about it now, and probably more. I've dabbled in different things, taken classes, read books, tried different techniques and ideas from different traditions, and nothing really sticks for long.

Yet I keep hearing this little bitty voice in my heart saying, some quiet sure would be nice.

So this experiment is the opportunity to ease that nagging energy and notice what happens when I spend time getting quiet every day. Not being quiet, because you can't always control that, but getting quiet.

It's just an experiment

And, because it's a one-year experiment, if at the end of the year, I can stop if I want to, and not give meditation another thought for the rest of my life.

I'm assuming that won't happen, but I want to leave plenty of space to be surprised. I want to look as this openly, not put a lot of expectations about what will happen or how I'll feel. That's hard to do, so I'm going to be really clear about what this gift looks like:

Spending 10 purposeful breaths in quiet each day. Ideally at least 10 x 10, but I'll be satisfied with just 10.
Jotting down some notes about what I'm noticing.
Providing a weekly update here.

Care to join me?

Posted in Hello Self, So This Is How You Work | 6 Comments »

Wanted: New Cliches Please

February 2nd, 2010

It's no secret that I love words and language. I've devoted more than a few blog posts to the topic, like this one, and this one, and this one.

Lately I've been noticing how much violence sneaks into every day conversation. Once I started paying attention, I was a little stunned at the amount of violence behind my words. Things like conquering, and beating, and pimping.

With a little awareness, I'm (mostly) using words that more accurately reflect my peace-loving self. But a few words and idioms are such succinct, well-understood short-cuts it's difficult to find substitutes.

I'm talking about these kinds of things:

There's more than one way to skin a cat.
Kill two birds with one stone.
Pimping

I'm going to keep thinking about different ways to express these ideas, and I'd love to hear from you.

What new words or phrases could replace those?

What other sneaky violent references pop up in every day conversation?

Posted in Hello Self, So This Is How You Work, Randomness and Funny Things | 4 Comments »

Retreating

February 1st, 2010

The view from my window at the retreat. Complete with deer (in the middle of the photo).

Have you ever noticed that little trick your mind plays on you, the one about how you don't have the time to relax, you don't have the time to be calm, you don't have the time to breathe?

It's a crazy, twisted little trick.

It's so easy to get in that mode, and push, Push, PUSH. Sure, stuff gets done, but so do you. Cooked. Burnt-out. Deflated. Sick.

I have an extra lot on the to-do list today. See I pretty much took all of last week off. I took the time to attend Havi Brook's Destuckification Retreat at the last minute.

Am I glad I did. Today was going to be busy before I rearranged things, and put stuff off until this week. Now it's just extra busy. And, instead of feeling overwhelmed it's going smoothly. Had I not taken the time to really relax, explore what I need and get re-inspired by my business (and boy am I re-inspired!) it would have been gerbil wheel central around here.

Every so often it's great to retreat.

I know it's not always possible to get away, so I want to tell you about a really cool opportunity to retreat in the comfort of your own home, live or on a schedule that works for you.

Jen Louden's Virtual Retreat

She's the Comfort Queen, and her book, The Woman's Retreat Book was featured on Oprah. I've retreated with her, and she knows what she's doing! The whole set-up is pretty great. There are 13 mini-retreats, a workbook, support and structure to help you get the most out of it.

If you're on the gerbil wheel, please take a moment to relax and breathe and explore how to find a little more calm in your life.

Posted in Discovering and Developing That Thing You Love, Hello Self, So This Is How You Work | No Comments »

Trusting Myself Enough to be Crude

January 21st, 2010

Over the years I've tried lots of different systems for resolution setting and goal-planning. You know, SMART Goals, life-changing resolutions, positive affirmations. But the results were sketchy at best. And completely demoralizing at worst.

One of the things I noticed is that I was following these systems, but they weren't quite right for me. I was doing what I thought I should be doing, not what I wanted to do.

For example, every year I'd come up with something around money. But I'd never want to be so crude as to actually use the word MONEY. That would be too base. So, I came up with schmancy names, like financial wisdom or life wealth or a gazillion forms of abundance. But you know what? I never really felt connected to the resolutions or goals, and the results were what you'd expect. Completely variable.

As opposed to the times where I really connected with what I wanted. Like when my goal of being active wasn't getting me to the gym or on the trail, but training to climb Mt. Hood, got me out every day. And now, more than a year later the basic goal still gets me to the gym and on the trail, even after reaching that particular summit. I've just keep changing the name of the summit!

So this year, as I was reflecting on 2009 and looking forward to 2010, I happened to read one of Michael Neill's Coaching Tips, "What's Your Impossible Dream for 2010?"

In it, he talked about setting up a big challenge for yourself, something that is hard to believe can happen, but you'd love it if it did. The example he gave was, "a 90 day game where "winning" was defined as earning more than [he] had earned in the previous 12 months."

Wow, talk about big.

As I was reading, it hit me. I wanted to do the same thing. And I wanted to do it around money. Not wealth, financial security or abundance. But money. (Cue The Apprentice theme song.)

He gives lots of good information about why creating an impossible dream like this works. All good, important stuff. But the thing that struck me was the use of the word money. I realized that I had some fear that if I used the word money, rather than one of the nicer, P.C. terms, I'd turn into some kind of money grubbing huckster, who'll do anything for a buck.

Ha. Not likely.

Suddenly I can trust myself to say what I really want out of this particular challenge. Money. Because behind that word is so much more… Helping people tame their fears. Igniting inspiration. Supporting other little people's businesses. Having fun and laughing along the way.

And boy, when I set up my own Big Ass Money Challenge, the energy and excitement around it is game-changing. A little something magic happens when you trust yourself, even when it means using a word that can seem crude.

* * *

Are you feeling stuck with resolution-making or goal-setting? Check out the teleclass I'm co-teaching with Janine Adams of Peace of Mind Organizing, called Why Resolutions Don't Work (and how to get what you want anyway).

Posted in Discovering and Developing That Thing You Love, Hello Self, So This Is How You Work | 5 Comments »

Why Resolutions Don't Work (and How To Get What You Want Anyway)

January 11th, 2010

Where are you on the New Year’s Resolution Continuum?

(statistics from 2008 survey by Opinion Corporation of Princeton, NJ)

If you fall in that big middle group (or have drifted into the no resolutions group due to disappointment) this could be the year for something different.

Janine Adams and I teamed up again (we co-created the Declutter Happy Hour course) to teach this teleclass. We share with you the reasons resolutions don't work, and more importantly what to do instead. We give you tips and strategies, and guide you through helpful exercises so you can experience a new way of approaching your resolutions and goals.

Perhaps you'd like to declutter and get organized this year, or maybe you want to make changes for your health, creativity or finances. Our approach is terrific for whatever set your sights on.

This year is going to be different.

Why Resolutions Don't Work

(and How To Get What You Want Anyway)

The teleclass is over, but you can still get the immensely helpful recording. It's great to listen to any time you want to re-vamp a resolution that isn't working, create a new habit or establish a goal that really works for you.

Details:

We talk for about an hour and then open it up for questions.

During the call we talk about the common reasons that setting resolutions doesn't work, and we explain and guide you through exercises that help you get what you want.

This is for anyone who has been frustrated by resolutions or goals, and wants to learn a new way to approach it.

The cost? Just 19 bucks.

Special bonus. Everyone who signs up will get a coupon for $20 off any product or service offered by me or Janine.

Are you in? Yes? Just click the "Add to Cart" button:

You'll get a link to the recording in moments.

Here's to getting what you really want!

Posted in Discovering and Developing That Thing You Love, Hello Self, So This Is How You Work, News and Announcements | 1 Comment »

Three and a half things I'm embarrassed to admit

December 1st, 2009

1. Yesterday was the end of NaNoWriMo, and I didn't finish my novel.

After writing nearly 33,000 words I realized the tingling and numbness in my hands and pain in my wrists that started around 20,000 words, wasn't getting any better. I bought Speech Recognition software and I wrote another 1000 words or so, but the learning curve for the software was steep. I still had to do a fair amount of mousing and typing.

Ultimately, I decided that meeting the deadline wasn't worth the pain. It wasn't easy, tears were shed. Once I'm healed I'll continue to work on the novel at a slower pace. After all, I'm anxious to find out what happens!

2. I miss being online. A lot.

To rest my paws, I went on a computer fast for four days.I glanced at e-mail on my Blackberry and responded only to urgent stuff. Other than that, no Twitter, no Facebook, no Kitchen Table, no Google searches, no reading my favorite blogs. Virtually no computer time until yesterday. I found myself wondering, a little too frequently perhaps, what was going on online, what my friends, colleagues and clients were doing.

The good news is I picked up the phone to connect with people, read some great books, watched some interesting movies, spent time with friends and family, and went on a couple of beautiful walks. And now, I can poke my nose in online for a few minutes a day. As long as I use a timer and pay attention to my wrists.

I'm also getting the hang of Bixby, which apparently is the name of the voice recognition software, because every time I say, MacSpeech, it types Bixby. I wrote this post with it. Blame any typos, weird words or odd punctuation on Bixby.

3. I lived in the land of frustration for far too long.

As I mentioned in the post about my carpal tunnel coaching special, I'm just about ready to release my first product. I'm super excited about it, and can't wait to let you all know more. But there's a certain amount of typing and mousing that needs to occur before it's ready to go. So, it's on the back burner for now. And then of course the novel, also on the back burner. And then there's e-mail, filling the library of the Tuscan villa that is my inbox.

All of this equals mucho frustration. Plus the pain. Did I mention tears were shed?

And then, my mastermind buddy suggested I use my own product. It was a forehead slapping moment, hello I'm my own best client! I listened to the Boring Change recording, went through the process, and let my unconscious mind takeover. It's been so much easier than struggling. The angst and emotional pain are gone, and the physical pain is definitely decreasing.

3 1/2. I love the song, Cum on Feel the Noize by Quiet Riot.

I'm only giving this a half, because it's not nearly as embarrassing to admit now as it was in the mid-80s when my zippered cassette case was full of Depeche Mode, INXS and Pet Shop Boys tapes. But still.

Posted in Discovering and Developing That Thing You Love, Hello Self, So This Is How You Work, Randomness and Funny Things, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

I'm in Wikipedia! And other random tidbits.

October 28th, 2009

Tidbit #1 – I'm in Wikipedia.

And, by "in" Wikipedia I mean that I was part of the "group of climbers" that aided an injured climber in one of the listed accidents. It remains one of the most memorable experiences of my life.

Tidbit #2 – I'm writing a novel in November.

Don't you love that conviction? November means National Novel Writing Month. I first learned about NaNoWriMo in November 2004. My friend and Declutter Happy Hour co-teacher, Janine Adams told me about it and somehow convinced me to do it with her.

The conversations went something like this:

Janine: "It's National Novel Writing Month! It's too late to join the official one, but I want to do it in December."

Me: "Cool."

Janine: "You should do it too."

Me: "Okay."

I must have been weakened by all the arm twisting, because that was an insane idea.

I had no experience writing fiction, unless you count poorly researched college term papers and that play my friends and I wrote in six grade. (It was a modern re-telling of the Cinderella story. But instead of a gown and glass slippers Cyndi wore San Francisco Riding Gear and Sbiccas, and went to a disco and danced to music from Saturday Night Fever.)

Besides the extreme lack of fiction writing experience, I didn't have a story idea or even a character in mind for my novel in 2004. All things Chris Baty, founder of NaNoWriMo claims to not be a problem. In fact, that's what he called his manifesto and novel writing guidebook, No Plot? No Problem!: A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days.

He was right. At the end of December, I had a novel. Parts of it were barely readable, but some parts were actually kind of good. I was surprised that quantity over quality didn't entirely eliminate quality.

This year I'm starting with an idea. It came to me at the Taos Writers' Retreat. I also have at least one writing buddy, Janine's doing it again too (read her great post about it). And maybe most importantly, I fired that mean-ass inner critic and hired my dead uncle.

Tidbit #3 – November also means Thanksgiving

November isn't just National Novel Writing Month, it's also time for Thanksgiving, and the beginning of the holiday season. It's also the perfect time to get 28 days of tips, techniques and insightful inspiration to help you clear the clutter from your home. We're offering a $20 discount on Declutter Happy Hourthrough Thursday, 10/29.

Even if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving and just want a unique and inspired way to declutter your space, it's a great program. See for yourself what's possible. There's also a link for free help when you're having a clutter emergency.

Posted in Books and Other Things I Can't Stop Talking About, Discovering and Developing That Thing You Love, Hello Self, So This Is How You Work, Randomness and Funny Things, Shiny Things (that sometimes distract me) | 2 Comments »

Your Life - Inspired