Hello Self, So This Is How You Work

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Wanted: New Cliches Please

February 2nd, 2010

It's no secret that I love words and language. I've devoted more than a few blog posts to the topic, like this one, and this one, and this one.

Lately I've been noticing how much violence sneaks into every day conversation. Once I started paying attention, I was a little stunned at the amount of violence behind my words. Things like conquering, and beating, and pimping.

With a little awareness, I'm (mostly) using words that more accurately reflect my peace-loving self. But a few words and idioms are such succinct, well-understood short-cuts it's difficult to find substitutes.

I'm talking about these kinds of things:

There's more than one way to skin a cat.
Kill two birds with one stone.
Pimping

I'm going to keep thinking about different ways to express these ideas, and I'd love to hear from you.

What new words or phrases could replace those?

What other sneaky violent references pop up in every day conversation?

Posted in Hello Self, So This Is How You Work, Randomness and Funny Things | 3 Comments »

Retreating

February 1st, 2010

The view from my window at the retreat. Complete with deer (in the middle of the photo).

Have you ever noticed that little trick your mind plays on you, the one about how you don't have the time to relax, you don't have the time to be calm, you don't have the time to breathe?

It's a crazy, twisted little trick.

It's so easy to get in that mode, and push, Push, PUSH. Sure, stuff gets done, but so do you. Cooked. Burnt-out. Deflated. Sick.

I have an extra lot on the to-do list today. See I pretty much took all of last week off. I took the time to attend Havi Brook's Destuckification Retreat at the last minute.

Am I glad I did. Today was going to be busy before I rearranged things, and put stuff off until this week. Now it's just extra busy. And, instead of feeling overwhelmed it's going smoothly. Had I not taken the time to really relax, explore what I need and get re-inspired by my business (and boy am I re-inspired!) it would have been gerbil wheel central around here.

Every so often it's great to retreat.

I know it's not always possible to get away, so I want to tell you about a really cool opportunity to retreat in the comfort of your own home, live or on a schedule that works for you.

Jen Louden's Virtual Retreat

She's the Comfort Queen, and her book, The Woman's Retreat Book was featured on Oprah. I've retreated with her, and she knows what she's doing! The whole set-up is pretty great. There are 13 mini-retreats, a workbook, support and structure to help you get the most out of it.

If you're on the gerbil wheel, please take a moment to relax and breathe and explore how to find a little more calm in your life.

Posted in Discovering and Developing That Thing You Love, Hello Self, So This Is How You Work | No Comments »

Trusting Myself Enough to be Crude

January 21st, 2010

Over the years I've tried lots of different systems for resolution setting and goal-planning. You know, SMART Goals, life-changing resolutions, positive affirmations. But the results were sketchy at best. And completely demoralizing at worst.

One of the things I noticed is that I was following these systems, but they weren't quite right for me. I was doing what I thought I should be doing, not what I wanted to do.

For example, every year I'd come up with something around money. But I'd never want to be so crude as to actually use the word MONEY. That would be too base. So, I came up with schmancy names, like financial wisdom or life wealth or a gazillion forms of abundance. But you know what? I never really felt connected to the resolutions or goals, and the results were what you'd expect. Completely variable.

As opposed to the times where I really connected with what I wanted. Like when my goal of being active wasn't getting me to the gym or on the trail, but training to climb Mt. Hood, got me out every day. And now, more than a year later the basic goal still gets me to the gym and on the trail, even after reaching that particular summit. I've just keep changing the name of the summit!

So this year, as I was reflecting on 2009 and looking forward to 2010, I happened to read one of Michael Neill's Coaching Tips, "What's Your Impossible Dream for 2010?"

In it, he talked about setting up a big challenge for yourself, something that is hard to believe can happen, but you'd love it if it did. The example he gave was, "a 90 day game where "winning" was defined as earning more than [he] had earned in the previous 12 months."

Wow, talk about big.

As I was reading, it hit me. I wanted to do the same thing. And I wanted to do it around money. Not wealth, financial security or abundance. But money. (Cue The Apprentice theme song.)

He gives lots of good information about why creating an impossible dream like this works. All good, important stuff. But the thing that struck me was the use of the word money. I realized that I had some fear that if I used the word money, rather than one of the nicer, P.C. terms, I'd turn into some kind of money grubbing huckster, who'll do anything for a buck.

Ha. Not likely.

Suddenly I can trust myself to say what I really want out of this particular challenge. Money. Because behind that word is so much more… Helping people tame their fears. Igniting inspiration. Supporting other little people's businesses. Having fun and laughing along the way.

And boy, when I set up my own Big Ass Money Challenge, the energy and excitement around it is game-changing. A little something magic happens when you trust yourself, even when it means using a word that can seem crude.

* * *

Are you feeling stuck with resolution-making or goal-setting? Check out the teleclass I'm co-teaching with Janine Adams of Peace of Mind Organizing, called Why Resolutions Don't Work (and how to get what you want anyway).

Posted in Discovering and Developing That Thing You Love, Hello Self, So This Is How You Work | 5 Comments »

Why Resolutions Don't Work (and How To Get What You Want Anyway)

January 11th, 2010

Where are you on the New Year’s Resolution Continuum?

(statistics from 2008 survey by Opinion Corporation of Princeton, NJ)

If you fall in that big middle group (or have drifted into the no resolutions group due to disappointment) this could be the year for something different.

Janine Adams and I teamed up again (we co-created the Declutter Happy Hour course) to teach this teleclass. We share with you the reasons resolutions don't work, and more importantly what to do instead. We give you tips and strategies, and guide you through helpful exercises so you can experience a new way of approaching your resolutions and goals.

Perhaps you'd like to declutter and get organized this year, or maybe you want to make changes for your health, creativity or finances. Our approach is terrific for whatever set your sights on.

This year is going to be different.

Why Resolutions Don't Work

(and How To Get What You Want Anyway)

The teleclass is over, but you can still get the immensely helpful recording. It's great to listen to any time you want to re-vamp a resolution that isn't working, create a new habit or establish a goal that really works for you.

Details:

We talk for about an hour and then open it up for questions.

During the call we talk about the common reasons that setting resolutions doesn't work, and we explain and guide you through exercises that help you get what you want.

This is for anyone who has been frustrated by resolutions or goals, and wants to learn a new way to approach it.

The cost? Just 19 bucks.

Special bonus. Everyone who signs up will get a coupon for $20 off any product or service offered by me or Janine.

Are you in? Yes? Just click the "Add to Cart" button:

You'll get a link to the recording in moments.

Here's to getting what you really want!

Posted in Discovering and Developing That Thing You Love, Hello Self, So This Is How You Work, News and Announcements | 1 Comment »

Three and a half things I'm embarrassed to admit

December 1st, 2009

1. Yesterday was the end of NaNoWriMo, and I didn't finish my novel.

After writing nearly 33,000 words I realized the tingling and numbness in my hands and pain in my wrists that started around 20,000 words, wasn't getting any better. I bought Speech Recognition software and I wrote another 1000 words or so, but the learning curve for the software was steep. I still had to do a fair amount of mousing and typing.

Ultimately, I decided that meeting the deadline wasn't worth the pain. It wasn't easy, tears were shed. Once I'm healed I'll continue to work on the novel at a slower pace. After all, I'm anxious to find out what happens!

2. I miss being online. A lot.

To rest my paws, I went on a computer fast for four days.I glanced at e-mail on my Blackberry and responded only to urgent stuff. Other than that, no Twitter, no Facebook, no Kitchen Table, no Google searches, no reading my favorite blogs. Virtually no computer time until yesterday. I found myself wondering, a little too frequently perhaps, what was going on online, what my friends, colleagues and clients were doing.

The good news is I picked up the phone to connect with people, read some great books, watched some interesting movies, spent time with friends and family, and went on a couple of beautiful walks. And now, I can poke my nose in online for a few minutes a day. As long as I use a timer and pay attention to my wrists.

I'm also getting the hang of Bixby, which apparently is the name of the voice recognition software, because every time I say, MacSpeech, it types Bixby. I wrote this post with it. Blame any typos, weird words or odd punctuation on Bixby.

3. I lived in the land of frustration for far too long.

As I mentioned in the post about my carpal tunnel coaching special, I'm just about ready to release my first product. I'm super excited about it, and can't wait to let you all know more. But there's a certain amount of typing and mousing that needs to occur before it's ready to go. So, it's on the back burner for now. And then of course the novel, also on the back burner. And then there's e-mail, filling the library of the Tuscan villa that is my inbox.

All of this equals mucho frustration. Plus the pain. Did I mention tears were shed?

And then, my mastermind buddy suggested I use my own product. It was a forehead slapping moment, hello I'm my own best client! I listened to the recording, went through the process, and let my unconscious mind takeover. It's been so much easier than struggling. The angst and emotional pain are gone, and the physical pain is definitely decreasing.

3 1/2. I love the song, Cum on Feel the Noize by Quiet Riot.

I'm only giving this a half, because it's not nearly as embarrassing to admit now as it was in the mid-80s when my zippered cassette case was full of Depeche Mode, INXS and Pet Shop Boys tapes. But still.

Posted in Discovering and Developing That Thing You Love, Hello Self, So This Is How You Work, Randomness and Funny Things, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

I'm in Wikipedia! And other random tidbits.

October 28th, 2009

Tidbit #1 – I'm in Wikipedia.

And, by "in" Wikipedia I mean that I was part of the "group of climbers" that aided an injured climber in one of the listed accidents. It remains one of the most memorable experiences of my life.

Tidbit #2 – I'm writing a novel in November.

Don't you love that conviction? November means National Novel Writing Month. I first learned about NaNoWriMo in November 2004. My friend and Declutter Happy Hour co-teacher, Janine Adams told me about it and somehow convinced me to do it with her.

The conversations went something like this:

Janine: "It's National Novel Writing Month! It's too late to join the official one, but I want to do it in December."

Me: "Cool."

Janine: "You should do it too."

Me: "Okay."

I must have been weakened by all the arm twisting, because that was an insane idea.

I had no experience writing fiction, unless you count poorly researched college term papers and that play my friends and I wrote in six grade. (It was a modern re-telling of the Cinderella story. But instead of a gown and glass slippers Cyndi wore San Francisco Riding Gear and Sbiccas, and went to a disco and danced to music from Saturday Night Fever.)

Besides the extreme lack of fiction writing experience, I didn't have a story idea or even a character in mind for my novel in 2004. All things Chris Baty, founder of NaNoWriMo claims to not be a problem. In fact, that's what he called his manifesto and novel writing guidebook, No Plot? No Problem!: A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days.

He was right. At the end of December, I had a novel. Parts of it were barely readable, but some parts were actually kind of good. I was surprised that quantity over quality didn't entirely eliminate quality.

This year I'm starting with an idea. It came to me at the Taos Writers' Retreat. I also have at least one writing buddy, Janine's doing it again too (read her great post about it). And maybe most importantly, I fired that mean-ass inner critic and hired my dead uncle.

Tidbit #3 – November also means Thanksgiving

November isn't just National Novel Writing Month, it's also time for Thanksgiving, and the beginning of the holiday season. It's also the perfect time to get 28 days of tips, techniques and insightful inspiration to help you clear the clutter from your home. We're offering a $20 discount on Declutter Happy Hourthrough Thursday, 10/29.

Even if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving and just want a unique and inspired way to declutter your space, it's a great program. See for yourself what's possible. There's also a link for free help when you're having a clutter emergency.

Posted in Books and Other Things I Can't Stop Talking About, Discovering and Developing That Thing You Love, Hello Self, So This Is How You Work, Randomness and Funny Things, Shiny Things (that sometimes distract me) | 2 Comments »

Your Email Inbox – Beloved Home or Ellis Island circa 1907?

October 27th, 2009

One of my biggest daily struggles is with email. My problem is that I sometimes suffer from FMS ('Fraid of Missing Something). If you aren't familiar with it, it's a not-so-distant cousin of JustIn Case.

My inbox is overflowing with newsletters, updates and notifications that I keep getting because there might be some good information in there. The problem is that it tends to pile up in my inbox, until I can't stand it anymore and then I madly delete and respond and get exhausted, annoyed and more frequently than I like to admit embarrassed by important emails lost in the detritus.

Last week, while strategically ignoring my inbox and checking in on my favorite blogs, I read Christine Martell's post Getting Control of Email. Unlike Christine, I'm not sure I'm brave enough to know exactly how much time I'm spending on email right now, but, I loved reading about what she's doing, how it's helped, and oh the beautiful paintings!

Duly inspired, I started deleting and unsubscribing and messing around with rules and folders. There went a few hundred of the 500+, but I had a long way to go. And, it was still agonizing.

The next day, I was having a chat with my mastermind buddy, Kat Miller* that completely shifted things.

She asked me to imagine my inbox as my living room or office, and wanted to know what it would be like to invite all that email in.

[Insert Horrified Gasp]

I immediately felt panicked. I don't want all that crap in my space.

Kat talked me down, and guided me to think about my email as a special place, a literal place, place. This idyllic little Tuscan villa came instantly to mind. It was beautiful, welcoming and private.

Unfortunately, instead of being the gracious lady of this beautiful home, I was acting like a security guard at Ellis Island. Scanning over the wretched refuse looking for the sick and troublesome to get them handled.

Not a pleasing metaphor.

So Kat and I ran with the little Tuscan Villa metaphor for awhile. I decided to create a Library where I could relax and browse through newsletters whenever I wanted. Most importantly, I realized that setting aside focused time every day to greet visitors, or spend time in the library, or otherwise hang out with people who dropped by was a really wonderful way to be.

I'm practicing this new way of being with my email. It'll take some getting used to, changing of habits, and I already like how much more spacious and friendly it feels. Almost like when I got my very first aol account.

* BTW, Kat is an amazing person, with great talents and abilities. Unfortunately, she's not taking new clients right now, but when she is, and/or she has her website up, I'll be the first to share!

Posted in Hello Self, So This Is How You Work | 2 Comments »

That's not jet lag, that's the flu…

September 17th, 2009

The Fix-It-All-Now Flu.

And it's a bugger. I've talked about clients that have it, in fact, it was the topic of my first newsletter.

And as I'm sitting here, back at my desk, after traveling for awhile I realize I have the symptoms. While traveling I had lots of time to dream. Time to percolate new ideas, to come up with a whole list of things I wanted to do when I got back home. And now that I'm home, I'm not magically completing my dream list.

I'm bouncing around from project to project, doing a little unpacking, catching up on email, doing a little decluttering, looking at my Autofocus list, click-click-clicking around online, saying hi on Twitter and Facebook, being busy, but not really getting anything done.

I'm frustrated. I hear Veruca Salt's voice in my head, "I want it NOW!"

So it's time to remind myself of the cure…thinking small. With that in mind, I can feel the frustration ease up a bit, and a small opening to do something. Not just do it, but complete it. At least in some small way.

Posted in Hello Self, So This Is How You Work | 3 Comments »

A beautiful new journal. Yikes!

April 14th, 2009

Last month I received a journal for my birthday. It's beautiful, handmade and local. The paper looks and feels wonderful. It's a nice size. It stays open. I was excited to write in it. Now, that might not seem revolutionary, after all, that's what journals are born to do, be written (or drawn) in. However, when I opened it up and felt excited to write in it, it felt different.

In the past, I'd feel a strange combination of excitement and angst. Love for the paper, the book, the place — a beautiful place — to house my thoughts. Then the angst would kick in.

It was always difficult to just start writing. I'd start several pages in, leaving blanks in the front, or wait until I came up with the perfect purpose for the new journal. If I did start writing, it wouldn't last long. No great surprise there, it just wasn't fun! It was too damn stressful.

So, I accumulated a collection of mostly empty journals. Most of them gifts, lovingly chosen and offered gifts, that I stashed away, because looking at them left me feeling a bit sad.

A revelation

I didn't really realize I had been doing this most of my life until recently. I read something somewhere, I wish I could remember where, about the angst someon had when they had a new journal. Until I read that, I hadn't given my journal habit much thought.

When I started reflecting, I realized quickly that this angst was at play. But why? Or perhaps more helpfully, how?

As I think about it now, it seems a lot of it was about "getting it right." I've explored this in the past, when I talked about having fun while I was making lots of mistakes and when I fired my internal editor and hired my dead uncle. So, yes, this is a theme for me. And for lots of my clients too.

So, I started to wonder about how "getting it right" was influencing my feelings about journals. First I thought about the power of the written word. I love books, loved them since before I could read. The written word has been very powerful for me. And, it seems that I had the same belief for my own writing. If I was going to write it down, it should be right, right?

A pretty funny belief to have about, or to question, in your own thoughts. They're your thoughts. No right or wrong. They just are. Your thoughts I mean.

So over the last few years I've been challenging these beliefs that keep me from being anything but my honest self, and was thrilled by the surprise experience of getting a new journal and being excited to write in it. In fact this post, was started in that journal.

Posted in Hello Self, So This Is How You Work | 8 Comments »

Hello block, how are you today?

March 6th, 2009

Well good morning Mr. Block. Lovely seeing you again. Just in case you aren't that swift, that last sentence was indeed dripping with sarcasm. Well, I can't stand it anymore. I have things to say, and you are blocking me. What's the deal?

I close my eyes and I'm nose to nose with this great, dark wall. This huge insurmountable thing, it obscures everything. It's dark and scary and seems like it could engulf me, if it wasn't so solid and thick.

Well no wonder I'm having trouble getting started! That is one big freaky writer's block. And then I notice my competitive streak is waking up, "Insurmountable, pshaw. We can do this, don't be a wimp, let's pound it to a pulp and breakthrough to the other side!"

Wait, wait, wait. Now how can beating myself up help? Because yes, despite having all these conversations with all these different things, I realize this is all part of me. I don't want to force myself, I don't want to be mean to myself, I don't want to make myself do it.
stonewall

I close my eyes again and take a step back. A sliver of gorgeous blue sky appears. Another step back, and another, looking all around me. I'm standing in the middle of this beautiful meadow, with a creek running behind me. Lovely trees, wild flowers, mountains in the distance.

That big dark foreboding block? It's an old falling down rock wall. The mortar has turned to dust. A gentle tap and the rocks tumble down. It only seemed like a big, horrible, insurmountable wall because I had my nose pressed up against it. A step back, a little perspective, some gentle questioning, and like magic, I write.

Image by hball via flickr, used under a creative commons license.

Posted in Hello Self, So This Is How You Work | 6 Comments »

Your Life - Inspired